My Life Is Average

i got all these from a website called my life is average. they are freakin hilarious!!!!!!!! basically the site is just people writing funny stories that happened to them. some are better than others.

At the school library, I decided to see what the last person had copied so I pressed paste. What turned up was "why are you clicking paste without copying anything?" I looked at it in shock before laughing. MLIA.

Today, me and my 10 year old cousin watched Forrest Gump. At the end she told me that when she grows up she wants to have a son named Forrest who runs track so she can yell "Run Forrest Run!" at all his meets. I have high hopes for her. MLIA.

My friend has lights in her basement that go off at certain loud sounds. Earlier, we had jokingly named it "the gaydar" because it went off every time one of our guy friends talked. When they put on the Twilight movie, the gaydar lit up every time Edward talked. MLIA

Today, after going to the ATM, i asked my friends if they knew why ATMs had headphone jacks. My one friends response? "For the deaf people". She was completely serious. Glad to know i have intelligent friends. MLIA

Today at work I was up front greeting people as they walked in. I asked a couple if they were looking for anything specific, and the woman replied "My parents." I told her we were out of stock on those, but to try back closer to Christmas, and her boyfriend said "YESSSS!" And walked out. Made my day. MLIA.

Today I walked into Subway. The man behind the counter asked me what sandwich I would like, and I told him I wanted a spicy italian. A man sitting in the restaurant raised his hand and said, "I'm right here." MLIA

Today,in U.S. History, we were reading quotes from Abraham Lincoln. One was, "It is better to leave your mouth closed and have others think you a fool than open your mouth and prove it." Suddenly, very loudly, a girl in the back of the class asks, "What does that mean?" MLIA

Today, I accidentally deleted the app store app on my iPhone. I called apple to see how to get the app Store app back. They said it could be purchased for free using the app store app. MLIA

Today, while in the city i was leaving a building with a revolving door. Instead of making my way out normally, i kept going around because it was entertaining me. Soon, the doorman approached me and i quickly stepped out and apologized. He said "It's okay, i do that all the time" and smiled. Im 15, he's a seventy year old guy. I guess the fun in you never leaves. MLIA

Today, I was in line at checkout of the Publix. The cashier and I started talking and she finally asks. "How tall are you?" and I told her 6/2. She laughed, saying she didn't believe it. So I said I was 5/14. Her response? "I thought so". MLIA

Today, I went out to dinner with my sister. We spotted my grandma a few tables away and rather than getting up, my sister decided to call her. When the phone rang, grandma looked at the phone, made a face and ignored the call. I then proceeded to call her and she immediately picked up. I always knew she liked me better. MLIA.

Today, while examining my grandpa's paper shredder, I noticed that it said: "Warning: Do not attempt to shred a gingerbread man." I wonder how and why this was discovered to not be a good idea. MLIA

the very much average,
Jenn